Personal feedback loop

I should discuss this very recent realization: while my subconscious mind is of the most excellent caliber, my conscious mind is absolutely useless. But I'm not going to.

Instead I will state that for the first time since I can remember, I feel as if there is no one that i can look to as being- i don't want to say a role-model or hero, because i've never really consciously (there's that word again) had any- someone or something to aspire to or to learn from. Everyone, to varying degrees, seems to be too mired in their own problems and issues to be of any serious use in helping others with their respective problems and issues. This probably isn't true, but rather is a function of my recent cynicism, coupled with my complete disdain for conventional social behavior. Regardless, that's how I feel at the moment. I suppose to justify my own beliefs in regards to human potential i now have to step up as my own model to which to aspire. I'll be interested to see if i can pull this off, or if it turns out to have an effect similar to that of feedback in a speaker-microphone loop.